The Writings of Jim Nolandy

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Hi my name is Jim Nolandy. I am 24 and I currently attend San Jose State University. I love to write about occurences in my life that I find interesting or strange. Whenever I have a moment to take a breath and look around I always find something to talk about. The world is a very interesting place and I am here to find those things that are interesting.

12/10/06

Just after I came back from my trip to New York, I remembered hearing about a great way to bicycle down from San Mateo to Santa Cruz. My friends and I are planning to do this trip momentarily since we figured out how to do it.

To take this route, you can start off in any part of San Mateo or even further north, if you'd like. Most people would try to take Highway 92 to Halfmoon Bay to get to highway 1, but it is a steep hill so most beginners, like my friends and I, avoid it. You can also take skyline road, which pretty much extends up to San Francisco, but when transferring over to Highway 1, once again, it is very difficult to climb. I heard that if you take Woodside road, one of the main arteries of Redwood City, California, you can go straight and easy to the Ocean. There is some climbing, but I was told it was not as intense as the other two routes. If you are heading from the city, you must also seriously consider doing this since no longer can you right straight along Highway 1 all the way from the city. After all, devil's slide is in disrepair and they are still working on making a tunnel to replace that route.

That's all for today, I hope you liked hearing about me and my adventures.

Jim

Juan Cole

Who is this guy and what does he want from us?

Juan Cole is actually pretty interesting and his website linked here is very informative and links to many interesting articles, which on his website he critiques.

He works in the department of history at the University of Michigan and specifies his studies in the middle east particular. His informed comment page has been almost entirely about the Iraq War for quite a while now. Most of his editorials explain that the Iraq War is basically a product of our current administration being complete assholes and their innability to wage war responsibly. In one of his most current comments he mentions that the Right will not consider the Iraq War as a civil war because the U.S. would be considered the cause of it.

To really get a good opinion and understanding of his work it is important to visit his website.

A Great Website to Submit Your Life

www.somethingawful.com is the worst website in the world.

These bastards think it is so funny to make fun of the internet by calling it the 'internets'. They also make threads about pooing on each other.

They have a column about World of Warcraft! What nerds! If they have to spend time to write about a stupid online game they obviously have no life.

And there is this stupid guy named Dr. Thorpe who makes fun of everyone's band. What an asshole. Can't he just learn to respect other peoples' opinions! He should keep his opinions to himself!

They're also led by some jerk named Lowtax. Who is this guy and why does he make stupid movies like Doom House and Death Hat? LOL. Why is his name Lowtax, anyway. It probably has nothing to do with Byron 'Lowtax' Looper who was once the Putnam County Tax Assessor in Tennessee.

And those stupid morons that post in the forums call themselves 'goons'! What, are they calling themselves that because they were such goons to pay ten dollars to join the forums. I bet!

Well, I hate this website, so I hope you never visit it.

In Attempt to Mystify

Meritory: I am going to be upfront and honest with you folks for a second and it requires instense concentration.

Who am I really?
Why did I make this blog?
Who the fuck is Montgomery Johnson?

I don't feel like mentioning my real name but you can call me meritory. I live in San Jose. I go to school at San Jose State University. My roommate is currently putting shrimp into his fishbowl. I am currently sick and I have a fever. I am a political science major. I play guitar in a band. I've been known to draw funny pictures. I ride a bike.

I made this blog because my teacher told me to. She's a very angry woman that perhaps acts scary to have people percieve her as angry so that they will listen to what she tells us to do. She doesn't seem that scary or angry at all to me so I think she's faking it. Either way, I'm still doing the assignment she told us to do.

Montgomery Johnson is a fictional character. Come on, isn't it obvious? I made him to be something like an angrier me who considers himself conservative, or the epitome of conservatism. "Why don't I have a character that is like LDPDMJ, but instead he is liberal?" you ask. Well, then I'd be redundant cause I am the liberal version of LDPDMJ.

THE MEANING OF LIFE

Meritory:Just kidding, I don't really feel like writing about that at the moment.

After reading Something Awful and their forums one day I discovered there was this little thing called RealPolitik. I had not heard the details of this idea before so I decided to look into it.

What is RealPolitik?

Essentially it's this way of thinking and discussing politics that involves excluding idealistic notions. One might want to claim things would be better "if it were like [this]," but Real Politik is out there to dissolve this manner of thinking altogether claiming that thinking idealogically is not looking at the whole picture. This method is the same thing as Realism in politics and is used primarily by conservatives to articulate their ideas against those of their opponents. One of the ways they use Real Politik is to diminish the validity of liberal arguments by pointing out that they are "too idealistic" and not realistic enough.

To make it clearer, I've decided to compare some paraphrased passages between idealogical political discussion and Real Politik style.

1.

Idealogical: There should be peace in the world!

POLITIK: There should be peace in the world, but it will require war with countries that oppose peace in the world.

2.

Idealogical: We should impeach our President because he has lied to us as a nation!

POLITIK: Sure, it is important that we question our government, but imagine how much worse the problems in the world will get if we're busy arguing over whether or not our president is good. There are much worse people to go after in the world.

3.

Idealogicial: We need to conserve our energy and waste less.

POLITIK: Waste less? If anything, focusing on our energy is wasteful. We have peoples' needs to meet, here, and they do not lessen by the day. In fact, if we don't worry about getting power and homes to our population, then soon everyone will be homeless! And plus, nothing is going to sell if it is overpriced because it has to go through millions of tests to make sure no little precious animals are hurt in its production. Why don't you just take your skinny liberal ass and go stop all of the cars and all of the factories and every institution in the United States of America so nothing gets hurt and dies anymore.

4.

Idealogical: Conservatives tend to have better judgement than liberals.

POLITIK: Well, I mean yea that's right.

5.

Idealogical: Progressively changing into a more socialistic institution will help provide more jobs, develop better health care, and insure that cities are developing as a whole and not simply to raise profits temporarily.

POLITIK: How the hell do you know that, asshole? Seriously, you liberals all think you're smarter than us. Well I have to tell you something: your idealogical notions are worth NOTHING and everything you say is nothing but bull crap that is not realistic. To survive in this world you need to let your stupid hippie ideas go and stop pretending you KNOW EVERYTHING. Gah. And read this article, too, while you're at it:

REAL POLITIK

OMG RUMSFELD NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Meritory: In addition to rumors that Dick Cheney has had a paper-shredder truck outside of his house recently for the sake of destroying evidence, Donald Rumsfeld has resigned from his office.

Could his guilt be more obvious? With a democratic congress, these administration leaders are going to be under extreme scrutiny, which justifies why all of these officials are freaking out and trying to break loose of incriminating ties. Rumsfeld must obviously have something to hide.

Should we allow these criminals to get away with this? I do not think that this is the time and place to allow the administration to walk away from the mess they made. With all of the poor management and destructive planning of the Bush Administration, it would not be fair to let them get away without being publicly embarrassed, although I assume they already are.

MERITORY SPECIAL REPORT!

This just in: an anonymous person who commented on my last post stated this:

"Reading your blog made see the anger and how much hate you have against women who do not like losers or just do not see what they can get out of a person who dresses like that. I do not know what you mean it is art by sagging your pants when that is nothing cute to look at! Second, why don't you think about what you say* before calling names and let them express themselves as you have in your blog. Third, why don’t you ask specific questions so you get the answer you want instead of thinking we are all dumb but in reality women are smarted then men who think and speak like you.** Finally, Relax enjoy and try to listen to other opinions.*** Like you said it is an expression but when you sag like that is nothing to express but only that you are a losers and with no future ahead of you! Sorry, but that is what society sees and will always see.**** Call names or scream but think about what you say, you are only wasting your words and making yourself look stupid but hey it is art to look stupid in your view…right? (LOL!)"


Okay, so I'm speaking seriously and not from my fictional character perspective when I say "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP BEING STUPID."

Did that article really seem serious to you? Does Lieutenant Dr Professor-Detective Montgomery Johnson even seem like a real person?

Obviously, you got the part that his argument is completely invalid, but you seemed to miss the part that it was intended for comedy.

Next time you attempt to debunk an argument, pick one that is serious.





*= Seriously, why don't you think about what you say? In this response of yours, you clearly did not.

**= HHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA (no comment)

***= Okay now this is something I can actually comment on. You argue that it is necessary to relax and enjoy other peoples' opinions. Clearly, you couldn't relax and enjoy my fiction character's opinion and this is a double standard I will not tolerate.

When I made this post, I didn't push it in the face of the writer I was "fake" critiquing, rather I was making a post on my own blog. You, on the other hand, force your opinion of sagging upon me by making a comment and then call for me to be tolerant of others' views. Come on.

****= Which society are you talking about?

Montgomery Johnson

Failure Detective

Episode 20

SAGGING ARTICLE

Do you know what is devastating?

Well of course you don't, prick; otherwise I would not have to tell you any of this.

Well?

Stupid people exist!

And do you what is even worse than that?

When they talk!

Dumbest Article About Sagging

Holy crap, I cannot believe a woman could possibly feel the need to ever critique a man's appearance. Does this woman even know why she is critiquing it?

As a supporter of sagging*, I believe that it is important that men are allowed to do as they like within the laws that men prescribe to one another. It is a matter of obtaining and maintaining manliness that keeps our world going. All women have clearly had little contribution to the well-being of the human race besides providing wombs to harvest fetuses into children and an occasional sponge bath, which makes all of their pointless bickering about male attitudes a complete waste of time.

So, I must say that my argument is quite simple: women should not fear sagging because they don't understand what sagging is, they don't understand how to see beyond their own perspectives, and they shouldn't be talking about how men act anyway.

Sagging is an artform that is reflective of one's artistic notion to be deviant and thoughtful at the same time. Sagging can be used as an indicator of mood, personality, or even current events. For example, if the revealing boxers are hearts, it may mean that he is a soft-spirited young gentleman who is quite open to share his soft side (and his hard side). If the pants are dropped too low, it could mean he is looking for a female to take him by surprise and open for some fun-lovin'. If only some of the boxers are showing, he is not interesting in any liasons at the time, but still thoughtful enough to share a little bit. (Figure A). Women do not seem to understand this, especially this stupid broad who wrote the article. Gah!



So, to investigate why women never seem to understand the man's point of view I went out to interview individual females on their opinions of sagging and its effects on society.

Lietenant Dr Professor-Detective Montgomery Johnson: What is sagging?
Woman 1: I dunno, your skin?

SEE WHAT I MEAN? They don't know anything and my skin is not sagging either. These women have the dumbest ideas.

LDPDMJ: Why do you think men choose to sag their pants?
Woman 2: Uhhh, to look cool?

NO, YOU STUPID FEMALE! If they could only consider the plethora of usage possibilities for sagging then maybe they wouldn't assume such a ridiculous idea.

LDPDMJ: If you chose to sag and other women commented poorly on how you dressed, what would you do?
Woman 3: Well, I would never sag, so I don't know.

YOU ARE SO CLOSE-MINDED! What the hell is your problem, bitch?! Start putting yourself in other peoples' shoes, okay?

I don't even have to show any more of my empirical evidence to make my point. Women just simply cannot comprehend alternate modes of thinking, especially the thinking of men!



Still, Women should not even be commenting on how men act, anyway. I mean with all of the ridiculous things women do to express themselves, like wear revealing shirts so we can see their nipples and dancing, how can they possibly give men crap for sagging, a multi-faceted artform? I am appauled and I hope that, upon reading this argument, that the writer of the original article repeals her statements and banishes herself from existence. That'll teach her.

-Lieutenant Dr Professor-Detective Montgomery Johnson



* You are saying: "How the hell can Montgomery Johnson approve of such a lewd and outright disgusting trend?". Well, read the rest of the fucking article and maybe you'll fucking know!

Pictures:
Picture 1
Picture 2
Picture 3

Myspace Users Can = Terrorism!!!

Link to Article

This girl happened to write "kill bush" on her myspace in obvious retaliation of the government's current status as an "evil regime." Well, at least this is her own opinion and truly she has the right to express this due to one solid thing: freedom of speech.

You see, I love to hear wisecrack conservative responses to liberal battle-cries. For example: "Stop complaining about your government. If you don't like it, move to another country"; "You're not allowed to hate your president"; and "if it's not broke, don't fix it". Yet, all of these are in vain since the freedom of speech is a protected and celebrated right among the American people.

I realize that it is scary when you're the President and not just terrorists want to kill you, but also a little girl from California. Obviously, if you cannot find the terrorists to pick on, you must focus your efforts on the latter...

George Galloway Kicks Ass

George Galloway blows away Sky News

A lot of people really hate the fact that I do not support Israel. How can I possibly support a nation like Israel, though. It refuses in all manners to cooperate with the nations surrounding it because of this zionistic ideal that it deserves to be where it is. Well, I disagree and so does George Galloway. And if you've never viewed Hezbollah as a freedom fighting force, then I suppose you should never argue with Mr Galloway.

CLINTON IS AMAZING

Sure Clinton was a fumbling President. Which President hasn't screwed up and if you think not, I recommend being President yourself for once. But here is living proof that Clinton is far more self-aware and open of his policies than I can imagine Bush ever has been. This leads me to believe that Clinton's honesty and conviction with his ideals is far greater than our present leader. In the context of this interview, you will see Clinton destroying his opponent with wonderful tact, much like George Galloway.

Clinton Kicks Chris Wallace's Ass on Fox News

Wings of Dreams

I want to say you look good
even though I know
better than that
You've lost control
and I am getting so tired
I'd like to sleep in a home on the range
and I'd be tired enough
to forget it as
it passes through
news to my conscience.

Hark, It's getting lower. Perhaps we're waiting to see how far it can drop down.
The olive branch, no longer held--
The arrows are all that has been left
for the wings of dreams to carry out.
Ooh.

Hey, look I've been watching you work
And I know you
better than this
I hold you to the first kiss
You gave when you came close.
See you talking like you know things
And you've given up
Faster than me
In the attempt of solving things
Or did you even?

Feel, it's only feelings. No one can care now; since their hatred has been quelled now
by images of what is good
by thoughts of things they wish they could
still no children play in the street.
Ooh.

Scared? You feeling scared now? It won't get better. The sky will be red in warning.
The bombs won't kill you in your bed.
The bombs will take your soul instead
Through the onset of fear
Through the cavity in the screen
Through the falseness in your tears
Through the place you've never been
Through the wash and wave of mindless cheers.
Ooh.